reissue: volume 74 - real love

revisiting a trip back home

every now and then i’ll reissue an old volume of Run It Back to go down memory lane. you can see how the format of the newsletter and my voice have evolved over time

it’s a trip reading this close to 2 years later as the sentiment is still the same! SF will always feel like home to me. but in the present, Austin feels like home too. i’m in a polygamous relationship with the vibes lmao

p.s. - despite the reissue, there’ll be *fresh* memes that brought me joy this past week :)

memes of the week 🤠

via @taylorlorenz3.0

pain

reactionpiccs

A post shared by Reaction memes (@reactionpiccs)

why would you say something so controversial yet so brave?

throwingfits

A post shared by Throwing Fits (@throwingfits)

it’s “i love you” adjacent

via @throwingfits

newsletter authors are the new jehovah's witnesses (myself included 😈)

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I’m realizing more and more that Run It Back is a musical memoir. These entries are my lived experiences when listening to music.

Whether it’s myself writing (or a guest feature), there’s a level of mutual trust when I share something vulnerable or make a joke. Some of y’all I’ll never meet in-person but I still fuck with you even if I don’t know you personally.

Today’s songs were my soundtrack when visiting home recently. Coming back to San Francisco for the first time as a visitor was such a new experience.

I deliberately didn’t overplan and try to go on the Claud World Tour™. I prioritized myself first and friends/experiences I wanted to see.

Friends are extensions of ourselves and it was refreshing and restorative to hang out with friends to remind myself of what brings me joy. I haven’t been that happy in awhile.

As far as experiences go, something that would take me 20 minutes driving took me 3 hours total walking while taking breaks to soak the scenery in.

I wanted to move slow and be more present, which is what I need more of right now. I can get caught up in trying to find the most efficient route through life when that’s not really living.

Don’t be afraid to live.

And with that, let’s get to the music for the week.

- claudio / claud / @offballscreen

i will wear this jacket to the grave

this week’s music ⤵️

1. I Don’t Wanna Lose You - Edit
   Girls of the Internet & Olivia Louise
   Released: 2020

I don’t want to regret
Things I couldn’t say
I know that I’m not always present
When I’m in your presence

Sometimes I wonder if house tracks get away with saying anything over a smooth beat. While I was dancing my anxiety away, I had no idea that reading the lyrics would induce more anxiety. Being present can be hard as fuck at times.

I should make a playlist filled with songs that make you feel good but reading the lyrics will bring you back down to earth.

2. FACE TIME
   454
   Released: 2021

Lil' shawty caught up in her waistline
She don't even know that we FaceTime
She don't even know that be playtime

It was nice to loiter around with Paolo (of Idle Worship) and just be. When I’m with friends, I wanna hear what they’re listening to lately. He played this track and the track above and I was blown away.

I love how 454 plays on Houston’s rap style by utilizing the refrain as a verse and slowing the second half of the song. The Rihanna bar was a nice touch as well.

P has a playlist filled with bangers like this. This is my formal petition to release the playlist to the world.

3. What Do You Like In Me
   Nasty Cherry
   Released: 2019

What do you like in me?
I wanna see what you see

Oof. Josh (of Village Resting) sent this to me and I cried. It’s been a journey as I enter my 30s to be choosy in who I seek validation from. When I was younger, it was the world. As I get older, it’s my inner circle.

As I mentioned above, these lyrics remind me of seeing my friends for the first time in hella long. I want to see what they see to remind myself of who I am. Which also doubles as validation for what I like.

I’m starting to feel like myself again and that’s a beautiful thing.

4. Real Love
   The Doobie Brothers
   Released: 1980

Darling, I know I'm just
Another head on your pillow
If only just tonight, girl
Let me hear you lie just a little

Man, I fucking love dad rock. Michael McDonald is a damn national treasure. If you told me these were Drake lyrics, I’d believe you.

Josh and I perused through Oakland running errands while blasting The Doobie Brothers and doing our best Michael McDonald impressions. I don’t need to do big things when hanging out with friends. It’s the little things that matter.

If that isn’t real love, I don’t know what is.